Attachment

Attachment. A word I use a lot. I'm like the overly attached girlfriend, except for instead of a boy, its other things. I easily grow attached to clothes, cards from friends/family, even papers from high school that have nothing but scribble marks on them. But something that I grow really attached to are people. Not just people I know or don't know, but people who are genuinely nice to me. That sounds weird and yes, it is a little weird. I grew up not having a lot of friends, and if I had friends they were very rarely nice. Then at the end of my high school career I became really good friends with someone. He was really nice to me and in return I became annoying. I started texting him all the time and was always talking about him. It got to the point where everyone thought I was in love with this guy. Maybe I liked him at first, but it ended as soon as it started. After that happened, I realized who I am and what happens to me when someone treats me differently. I want to be with that person a lot because I felt happy and accepted. But then I get annoying and will start wanting to talk to them all the time. I'm really embarrassed when I realize what I've done and I hate myself that I didn't catch myself sooner. I'm scared that it's going to ruin friendships. I feel like its a curse that I now have deal with. I don't understand why I do this and like I said, its embarrassing! I feel now would be a good time put my trust in God and know he's got it under control. Psalm 56:3 says, "When I am afraid, I will trust in you." I just need to trust that God has a handle on everything and that everything happens for a reason.

Life Decisions

      Making decisions can sometimes be the toughest thing. Whether it is picking the right pair of shoes for that almost perfect outfit or picking the right job for your almost perfect career. Any decision, whether it be big or small puts you in a bind that takes a little figuring out. There are also those decisions that you feel obligated to take. Which one of your "friends" is your best friend? If you won two tickets to meet your idol, who would you decide to take?

     I graduated High School in 2012. I had decided I wanted to go to Culinary School. One thing lead to another and that decision became more of just a thought. I stayed home, working ten hours a week at a frozen yogurt shop, taking one class at a community college. 

    While my friends are in their second year of college, I have started to figure out what I want to do. The next step is finding the right school. Its deciding "do I want to stay at community college for a little while or dive straight into a four year?" Its deciding which is cheaper and how much more is one than the other. 

   Those kinds of decisions are scary and you never know whether to keep moving forward with that decision or to explore different options.

Whichever decision you choose, you will always need to remember, you are in control of your own life. 

  Now that sounds scary, at least to me. But if you have people there supporting you throughout your decisions, then you are in good hands.